hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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