One girl and one boy is just not enough.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
