I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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