I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
home. puking in laundry basket.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
