Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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