I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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