I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
