I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
