real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
