all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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