so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
