i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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