Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
