In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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