All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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