my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
