maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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