I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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