Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
