If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
