I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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