this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
