i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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