Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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