The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
