Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
