Don't you send me to vm
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
