Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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