do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
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