I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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