i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
