I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
