we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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