guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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