I want to make a zoo with you.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize