I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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