so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
