At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
