what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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