I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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