What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
false alarm, still single
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
