I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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