I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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