Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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