He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
