I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
