How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You're a waste of cheezeits
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize