and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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