I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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