Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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