I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
