So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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