His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
