my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
