maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
