there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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