if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
