she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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